Women's Empowerment Program

Helping Women Speak up in Relationships and at Work to avoid Bullies, Abusers, and Predators and live Confident, Fearless and Safe.

Helping Women Speak up in Relationships and at Work to avoid Bullies, Abusers, and Predators and live Confident, Fearless and Safe.

Don't Dwell on It

I'm not going to lie to you.

This morning was really rough. My husband was sick with a stomach bug and up all night vomiting. At 2am this morning he announced to me that I probably shouldn't be sleeping next to him if I don't want to catch it. So, I tucked my favorite pillow under my arm and walked down the hallway in search of another bed to occupy. I ended up in my daughter's room to share her large full size bed. Unfortunately, she awoke and caught on to what I was doing and adamantly kicked me out of her bed. Damn. The sofa it is, with the ornery orange cat.

If you have ever tried sleeping with a cat you know that you mine as well just stay up all night. Those nocturnal fuzz-balls, as cute as they are, don't pair well with their pawing and purring with a light sleeper like myself. So when my kids alerted me the next morning that we all overslept and were now critically late for school, I went right into
manic morning mamma. Don't judge me, I know you've been there. If you have school age kids I can guarantee you've been there. "Hurry, eat a good breakfast, get dressed. Grab your lunch! Did you brush your hair and teeth? No? Then go do it, HURRY! Come on we're really late! Can't you move any faster!?" And on and on… That awful place we go to when we're really stressed.

Although I rushed her, we still arrived after the bell rang. We missed it. We were late again. My daughter shuffled into her elementary school upset knowing that I was frustrated we got another tardy. It was more on me than her. Mom shame. It happens.

I felt horrible the whole rest of the day. I felt bad for my frenzied- not a great performance by mom- morning. I had already planned to do something fun with her the moment I picked her up from school to make up for it. Then, and this is how cool the universe is, at 12:00 her school called me. The number coming in on my phone said "school nurse" so when I answered I expected to hear "Hi Mrs. Connolly your daughter bumped her head again so please come pick her up." She's always bumping her head. So when I saw the call come in I started to put my shoes on and go out the door. Yet, this time the person on the other end said, "This is the office staff, we just wanted to tell you what a wonderful girl your daughter is and how she makes everyone else's day here better. Her teacher wanted us to tell you that." Whoa…I stopped me in my tracks.

I messed up the morning with her but it was all going to be okay. She's a great kid and kids are resilient. They can handle just about anything. As long as we give them more positive than crappy moments in life they will know they are loved and safe.

As mother's we try to do it all and sometimes we fail miserably. I wanted to write this story to tell you that wherever and however in life you messed up- big or small- to please not spend another moment of your life dwelling on it. Maybe you were involved in a bad relationship and awful things were said in front of your child. Or maybe you yourself said or did something horrible to someone else. All you, we, can do is try to quickly correct it, learn from it and move on. Accepting our mistakes and the moving on part is hard I know, but when you forgive yourself you are able to grow and learn from your experiences and hopefully, avoid the situation from happening again.

In my line of work, I meet women literally everyday who tell me their stories of failed marriages or how they were trapped in an abusive relationship- either with bullies or a controlling person for years and years. These events and situations of your life are not your fault. Whatever has happened to you can be excruciatingly painful and awful, but remember the suffering we put ourselves through is optional. You can and will go on. I know it will all be ok because you are still here and oh man, are women strong. And if you are able to breathe another breath then you are able to move forward another day and handle whatever life throws your way. We keep going. That's what we do.

My story with my daughter is a small example of how I messed up and is top of mind because it just happened today. All I can do is try to learn from it and do better tomorrow. That's me giving 100%. And I want you to know that I am here giving you that same 100% too. I want to help you overcome beating yourself up in life and to let you know that not only do I support you, but that you are not alone trying to figure it all out. Kurukula is here to help.

That was my intention when I created Kurukula- to empower women from the inside out. When we feel good about ourselves, our choices, our future and our options- our self-esteem as women flourishes. That's what this program does.
It builds your self-esteem and confidence to get you thru anything. If this speaks to you, then join the thousands of others who have completed our training and check out our monthly women's circles that are available nationally. Feel free to share this link with someone you know who can benefit from these empowering life-skills too.

Thank you for reading this and being a part of my life.

Be empowered,
Dara